Saturday, October 23, 2010

Night's Paradox


Moonlight gathers,
influencing
insecurities.
Tears seep through clenched eyelids.

Shadows lengthen,
stealing away
grasped straws.
Despair beckons as hurt bleeds.

Hours expand,
dragging minutes,
increasing fears.
While betrayal lances, worthlessness eats.

Darkness shrouds,
sipping, engulfing
rational perception.
Anger ignites past pressing shame.

Starlight filters,
twinkling, shimmering,
offering hope.
Sleep leaps to consume emotions.

1 comment:

  1. I don't know why you don't like this poem. It is very touching and perfectly captures some potent emotions. The only thing I have to say about it is that the leap to sleep from the rising and disturbing emotions is too fast. I feel like you create an entire atmosphere of contention and then give it anesthesia. Something needs to be placed before sleep worthlessness. Also, line 16 is a little confusing for me. Maybe I need to study it more.
    I really like this, Trulee, and know that I have felt these same things so many nights. I believe most women have. This is a very appealing poem...except for the sleep because I think something has to happen before you can sleep after experiencing all these emotions. Maybe it's not that way...but if it isn't I would like one more stanza to make it feel more or less resolved. Let me know what you think about that.

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